Car Wash Game
Sedona, 2008

Weeks of desert dust, dead insects and city cover my Echo
The time has come for a bath
Her cleansing
In a dream, I see the self-service car wash

I find it post-sunset
Quiet, it sits waiting for me
I pull in, roll up the window, turn off the music and engine
Instructions seem clear
“Put in cash, push buttons, use brush or hose.”

I’ve never washed my car like this before
Embracing the task, I put in $3
Water immediately explodes out of the hanging hose
Power so intense, I’m almost afraid to pick it up
But I do
I start to wet down my car
Spraying off insect parts, dust
It’s not enough

I need soap and a brush
I push the soap button
And run over to the brush
It comes alive
I move fast
Aware constantly of time
Each second
Is one second lost

I run around the car
Laughing, scraping with the soapy brush at the roof, the sides, the splattered front
Aware that I could easily add more money
And make this into a slow task
A meditative task
There is no reason for this stress
This incredible pace at which I’m working, running around like a mad woman
Exploding with soap and water
Laughing
Getting my clothing soaked
But some part of me decided
That this car
Had to be washed
And within the constraints of $3
At this particular carwash

So I play the game
That some part of me
Set up for me
Here
Tonight
Post-sunset
When a minute remains on the clock
It dings
Each moment is counted down
I have less than 1 minute
I spray water from the top
Spray, spray, laugh, laugh
In this moment I am fully alive
In my body
Alive for the remaining seconds of a car wash.

 

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