Tuning into Others
Savannah and New Orleans, 2009


When spirits are upset, they can cut off the sound
Of my car stereo
Right now
It’s silent again

Perhaps they enter my stereo from the graveyard
Was it the spirit of the mother
Who was not buried with her 5 dead babies?
I don’t know how I feel about them
Or her or it

For days, my stereo is silent

As I drive away from Savannah
On the highway
For a moment, it comes back to life
Normal, then shifts into crackles
Sounding like an old transistor radio
Tuning to something that can’t be tuned in

I drive towards New Orleans
Listening to the crackles in the speakers
The sounds grow louder
A pitch so high in moments it hurts
So loud that I can not ignore it

“Please stop,” I say
“I want my music back.” I say
Louder pitch is the response
I pull off to get gas,  turn off the engine
The crackles in the speakers continue
No fucking way

I call Jeff , “Can speakers frizz without power?”
Nope.  He confirms that a stereo should be silent
Without power
But it’s powered by something else

I continue to drive wondering if I’d go mad
Having to drive for hours with the sound
I scream at it to be silenced
I smile at myself for the scream
Yes, I attempt to communicate
With crackles in my stereo

It falls into silence
I drive in silence
The silence is beautiful
No high pitches
No untuned cracks
I know that if I reach over
My stereo will be back
I leave it in silence

When I test it
It works like normal
I turn up the crystal clear music
And bounce a bit to it
Delighted that my tuning to some other energy
For now is done

 Sanity
I recall saying to my shaman
That at least I felt totally sane through all this
Her response
“What is sanity?”
I still have that list I made
I didn’t care for all that I associated
With sanity
But my new view of it
Is simply buying into a worldview that is
Believed by many others
Thankfully for me
I’m finding countless others
Who view the world as I do
And even if none of us are sane
Then at least there are many of us
And it’s a much more enjoyable
Way to live

R once asked me: “Would you rather believe or not?”
I’d rather believe.

Snake Charmer’s Message
“You don’t know who you are yet.”
Says the Voo-doo and Druid priest to me.
I wonder what he knows
That he doesn't feel like I'm ready to hear yet.